"You should marry the godliest, most fruitful, most spiritually beautiful woman you can convince to have you."

My buddy once wrote that on his blog when he began a relationship with an amazing girl.
There was a time when I pondered the sentence that he’d taken from a book, and wondered to myself, just what it would feel like to be able to make those words, the desires of my heart as well…

Back in November, I prayed for two things, that God would once again, strip away the things that hindered me from moving forward in my faith, and give me that which I needed in order to grow.

Shortly after, my pastor approached me about a leadership position in the church, to which I first responded, that I didn’t have time, but I would pray about it. Well within days, the gym I’d been going to for years closed down, and within the next few weeks, I suffered from metatarsalgia making it painful to jump and run.

It was during this December period when I couldn’t run and jump like I used to, that I began to seek the Lord in earnest again. It was so hard for me, as I love to do kungfu, and to climb things and flip off them. I felt so upset, watching my friends able to go to practice. I looked at my own feet... feet that once did the Sun Run, and had taken me to so many different countries, now painful and unresponsive to medication. It was a repeat performance of last year’s injury, except this year, I knew that God had allowed this to happen to me for a reason. My strength began to fade to the point where my coworker noticed a difference in the way I sat and walk, and I felt so weak.

I spent more and more time reading my Bible, drawing comfort that God did have a plan for me and that I had to continue to seek out His plan for my life.

Over a dinner with some of my good guy friends that I have fellowship with, the topic of relationships came up and sparked some interesting thoughts. As I replayed the conversations in my head over the next few days and prayed, God began to work a change in my heart.

As I thought about the girls that God had placed in my life, one rose above the others and stood out in my life as I considered that quote. We’d been good friends for awhile, but the thought of a relationship???

Sadly, I must admit, that I fought and argued with God, giving Him my excuses. Why now? Why her? I can’t do this. I don’t want this. I like my life the way it is. God I want to submit my life to you, but not in this area.

As I read my Bible and shared with my bible study friends about how I felt, the walls I’d built began to come down. I asked God that if this wasn’t from Him, to have Him stop me. God didn’t, and in fact, he began to grow in me a love for her. Furthermore, one after another, the people closest to me in my life prayed alongside me.

As my pastor, parents, friends, and even her brother encouraged me…oh, how I felt like turning back. Even when God pushed me to tell her at the end of Missionfest, on a Sunday evening, I still did not want to.

A few days before I would tell her, an old family friend of mine in the church prayed with me. How moved I was by her words, and she prayed several verses over me.
The story of the servant at the well, who begged God to give him a sign directing him to the woman who would be his master’s wife, and a verse in Isaiah struck a chord in my heart and I cried as I felt God break down the walls in my heart that were preventing me from moving forward.

“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it.”

I begged God to confirm in me that the love that I had for her was truly from Him, and asked Him for a sign. In the days leading up to the Sunday, I asked in earnest, that if this really was for Him, for my sake, would he give me, a person with so little faith, a sign.

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

I sought His direction in my life. I understood that I could not live an ordinary life, and that faith in Christ will cost me so very much.

“Who has been given much, much will be demanded”

The Saturday before I knew I was supposed to ask, it came to me. I was praying during one of the talks when it hit me, what I knew I was supposed to ask for. God pressed it on my heart, that somehow or another, I would know her by the tears that she would cry from heart on the Sunday.

As I wrote her a letter that night and the next morning, about how I felt and what God had prompted me to do. Trembling, I wrote down that I would see her cry, and that God would have to do something in order to make it happen.

My plans for the next day were completely overturned, but somehow I ended up sitting with two of our mutual friends and her for dinner after Missionfest. I had that letter with me in my bag, but I still doubted. I was ready to rip up that letter because I thought I’d heard God wrong. Before I went, I was prepared to head back to my church and tell everyone that I’d heard God’s voice wrong if things didn’t pan out… but then something amazing happened.

One of the girls posed a question, and then “she” began to cry. She cried and cried, and didn’t even want to because I was sitting there. At that moment, I felt shock as I realized just how much I’d doubted God, and tried so hard to run away from what He was pushing me to do. It was then, that I felt my strength renewed and my purpose became so clear. I knew that I had to give her that letter, and leave the rest to Him.

That evening, I read her that letter, and gave her perhaps the biggest shock of her life.

Throughout the next week, I watched God do amazing things in her life. But if there’s one thing I stand in awe of… is how God brought two people who did not want each other, but changed their hearts and lives to draw them into a relationship. As I cried the day after she told me about the changes God had done in her, and story from someone else, I knew what Jesus meant when he said "your faith has made you whole". I asked Him in that moment to heal my feet, and the next day, ran through the park by my house, free of my pain that no medication could heal =)

Crying is good!

I now understand what it means to love.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Thank you, to all of those who prayed for us along this journey. You all know who you are. If you have a story to tell about this time period (e.g. how scared Sam Chua was), please post it =)